Victorious even when invisible …

Hello!
So glad you are keeping up with my life! It is an honor that you would take your time to come and see what’s happening in my tiny world!!
–disclaimer:
It’s hard to speak from a place that you haven’t really left but I feel like day by day as I am running the race I am getting better… Still with some ups and downs but God has made a Victor and not a victim.. So I speak with hope and encourage you to see the good from this post!
It seems like every time I sit down (lay down) to write it’s because I’ve been praying and feeling at my lowest but God reminds me that what I am feeling is not healthy and somehow sends me messages of encouragement, hope, life , and love!
For about 2 weeks my mind has been struggling with the idea of not being “able” to do something!
I was struggling last week to do something my teacher (who is the most awesome/talented guy I’ve ever met) had given me for homework..
I couldn’t. I froze. Something inside of me was not letting me focus and believe that I could do it. I was being to harsh on myself because I had “failed”me. It was something I saw coming and I’m glad the Lord decided to deal with this issue right there and then. So I had a breakdown.. I was vulnerable and I could have have gone home and cried myself to sleep knowing I had embarrassed myself or I could go home and start praying and searching for scripture to renew my mentality about the capability he has placed in my life to achieve the things He has for my life.
I tell you I knew it was coming because through out the week God sent me messages,sent me reminders, and put thoughts in my heart that He has equipped me with the right tools to be VICTORIOUS. Hello that’s what my middle name means!!
On Thursday I was sitting at HBU with my best friend doing my dreaded math homework.. And then our friend comes over and one thing leads to another and we start to minister his life.. He suffered a brain trauma and feels like he will never be able to achieve his mental capacity to the fullest… But since I knew where he was coming from because I was in the same boat of thinking I won’t be able to achieve my dreams because I am “not” able… I spoke with so much peace hoping we would understand and start to trust JESUS and his help and provider.
I don’t know how he felt afterwards but I know that I had to go through seasons and be walking through a season like this to be able to share.
It’s all God I tell you!!
Sooo Friday-Saturday..
I went to PASSION and gosh was it not enough for to understand that TETELESTAI (it is finished). He has completed the work! I am able because HE was able. HE overcame the world.!
Tonight was rough… I studied he whole day and have been studying since yesterday because I know I have to learn this…
But somehow nothing is sticking.. I’m not doing it right…
So i decided to take the night off and relax… Well sooner than later I started to feel anxious, sad ,and discouraged because I couldn’t do something.
I texted my lovely friend Sandra and she texts me back and says “to not allow the enemy bring me down and that I have so much to offer, that I just need a break”… Was that not like water to my soul.. I tell you! Yes it was.
I’m so grateful for friends and family that haven’t ever doubted my dream! Even when I can’t even believe it!
I went to our study room and I just sat there and worshipped. I cried .. Oh I cried.
I prayed and I know God has and will answer my prayers.
He loves me and his love is unstoppable for me… I was worth fighting for.
How much sweeter ..
Nothing can separate me from His love.
Nothing..
The end!
I hope you find encouragement through this post.
I am not perfect but I refuse to believe that I am not able to do something when God has equipped me with everything that I need to be successful according to his Plans.
God bless you and share your thoughts with me! It will mean a lot!
Xoxo— Nat❤️